


Morning Revelations

by fouryearslater (CheshireCatLife)



Series: Tales Of Love, Family and Loss II [One Shots] [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Lazy Mornings, M/M, Mornings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23108878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheshireCatLife/pseuds/fouryearslater
Summary: Alec hasn't told anyone of his 'affair'. He hasn't told a soul of where he spends his nights, enjoying a certain warlock's company. He doesn't think he ever will.But mornings are the time for revelations, aren't they?
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Tales Of Love, Family and Loss II [One Shots] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661071
Comments: 2
Kudos: 153





	Morning Revelations

**Author's Note:**

> [please read the summary, otherwise I fear this won't make sense XD]
> 
> Based on: Lost My Mind by Alice Kristiansen

The calm settles over him like the tide settles over a beach in the early morning. It laps at him, sending buzzing chills down his smile whilst permeating peace in a way he doesn’t think he’s ever experienced before. The golden light beams through the partially open windows, the ornately hung red curtains bleeding red into the otherwise pristine refraction. Alec smiles, waving his hand above his head as he watched the light catch the remnants of glitter, a shimmering silver explosion down the side of his left palm. Slowly, he retracts it, letting it find purchase in the pillow of dark hair next to him. The remnants of gel are slowly brushed out by Alec’s tender fingers but the dye remains, like it’s as much part of Magnus as his cat eyes.

The peace, as always, is broken by the low buzz of his phone. It’s just a text: maybe even one he could ignore. But he can’t. Not anymore. With Valentine on the loose, every moment counts. And moments like these, where he feels trapped in Early Morning’s warm embrace, are the only type left that can be swept under the rug.

Alec smiles one last time and slowly peels himself off the bed, relishing in the rush of cool air over his skin, even if he stares, bereft, at the soft pillow he’s leaving behind. For a moment, he just listens and hears the almost silent snuffling of his sleeping partner. It reminds him that moments like these exist at all, that it’s not just an image he’s conjured in his own screwed-up mind to forget about the hell he’s living through. It plays on his mind always, like a song he can never quite get out of his head. It’s always met alongside the smell of Magnus’ perfume and the hint of sandalwood from the shower. A concoction that screams home and care and love.

Finally, his feet find the floor and he brushes the silk sheets back into place before he pads towards the floor. “Come back to bed,” a soft voice whispers behind him, so similar to the small wisps of wind coming through the window.

“I have to go,” he replies, his voice hoarse and broken. “They don’t know where I am.”

“Then tell them,” Magnus groans, pushing himself up so he’s sitting against the headboard, tired eyes barely open. “It’s been months, Alexander. Isn’t it time?” Magnus doesn’t like to push; that much Alec has learnt. But there are times when the frustration builds and it rushes out like an open dam. Magnus’ gates can only hold so much back.

“I can’t.” He ignores the way his voice cracks and tries to continue to the door but his own legs stop him. He’s frozen in place, indecision warring in his mind. He breathes in, the smell wrapping him in its warmth. The sight is burnt into his vision; he can’t see the door, just Magnus, tired and alone, calling him back to bed. His hand is on the doorknob but it's complacent, still with the steadiness of a soldier. “I don’t know,” he breathes out, pursing his lips as his eyes fall shut.

A voice inside his head screams at him to turn around, to face this head-on. Exhaustion warps his thoughts; he’s tired of running, or the secrets, of the lies. He wants his family to know about Magnus. He wants them to be able to meet and hang out and laugh. He wants to walk around New York without the unsettling burden of fear on his shoulders. He wants Magnus to be his, not just his stowaway.

Magnus is his first. Everything. _He’s_ everything. And that thought alone makes Alec think Magnus will be his last. But here he is, losing him. He’s asking him to return and Alec is about to walk away. Magnus is everything he wants, and everything he thought he couldn’t have. He didn’t see him coming yet now he shines so brightly in Alec’s life that he can’t imagine a life without him. He shouldn’t just walk away.

Alec turns his head, peering over his shoulder, his eyes bleeding guilt. “Come back,” Magnus repeats, and Alec knows it will be the last time he does.

His head spins in circles, dizzying and endless. Finally, words slip out. “I want to. I really do.”

“And you can.” It’s too early to decipher meaning, it’s lost to sleep-addled minds yet the sentiment is there. The underlying meaning is nothing, just the brutal force of the words they are. The simplicity. The choice.

This is it, Alec thinks, this is his opportunity to not be alone. This is the opportunity he never went looking for because he thought he _couldn’t_. But Magnus is here now; stuck in his mind like the gentlest of parasites, causing this insanity he can’t shake off. He’s loved each and every scar on Alec’s skin, he’s seen Alec’s past and promised him a new one.

“Magnus,” he breathes, because he has nothing else to say.

“Alec.”

He lets go of the doorknob. He returns back to bed. Magnus holds his arms out, a smile beginning to strain his tightly knotted lips. Alec slots into them easily, head resting on the junction of Magnus’ neck, his arms around his waist, legs spread out before him on the bed.

“I don’t want to keep lying,” Alec admits quietly, hoping his voice will be lost in the silence. “God, I must have lost my mind, but I don’t want to keep lying.”

“You haven’t lost your mind. You’ve just realised what you want and that you can take it. There’s nothing insane about that.”

“Isn’t there?” Alec asks, looking up at Magnus with child-like wonder.

“Never, Alexander. Never.”

~*~

Alec wakes up to an empty bed, the gloomy winter chill seeping through the unglazed windows. The room is dark, shrouded in dark greys and dull blues. Shadows lurk in untouched corners and dust gathers over the books he hasn’t touched in years. This room barely feels like his anymore. Then again, was it ever?

In the light of dawn, he closes his eyes and breaths, smelling the distant memory of sandalwood and fresh air. Behind his eyelids, he sees Magnus: smiling, lazy and content.

He opens his eyes. The bed is empty. His hand moves towards it, travelling across his scratchy sheets with intent purpose. His hand lingers in the empty space, fingers tapping one at a time in a long-standing anxious tic. The bed is empty.

And he’ll keep it that way, waiting until he’s here, another face beside his. He’ll keep it that way until tonight, when he moves into an apartment he’s learnt to love as much as its owner.

His phone lights up, the blue light driving shadows into hiding. A text, from Magnus. _We still on for tonight?_

 _Of course_ , Alec replies. _You still alright for everyone to come?_

_I want them to come. It’s a party, Alexander. And I know you don’t believe me when I say this, but a party needs more than two people._

Alec laughs until the morning’s energy changes him. His lips fall into a serious line and his fingers move with more purpose, typing words he’s been wishing to say for weeks. _I’m glad they know._

_Me too. I love you._

Alec just smiles. _I love you too_.


End file.
